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hey there, I'm Sarah
It has been almost six weeks since we’ve welcomed our new little helper around here and on July 26th, 2021 Mason + I welcomed our Peter Daniel at 6:39pm in the evening on the feast day of Mother Mary’s parents, saints Anne + Joachim.
We put Fulton down for bed Sunday evening and a few hours later we headed to the hospital from Minot to Bismarck early that Monday morning with some contractions. It was a few hours spent of just mason and myself soaking in being parents of one to soon being parents of two, which was and sometimes still seems surreal to think about but I’m sure one of these days it will hit me that I these two little ones are “mine” and I get to be their mama.
Before Peter was born at some point during my pregnancies I had written down all my desires for labor and delivery. I wanted to give everything to Him. With Fulton John’s (Peter’s older brother) labor and delivery didn’t go completely as I had hoped for BUT everything I brought to prayer had happened despite Fulton being in the NICU for precautionary reasons but he was born healthy (with all lab cultures negative). I knew the Lord would honor my desires and maybe desires I didn’t even know I had with my labor and deliveries again and again. I knew he would with Peter’s birth because He IS faithful and has ALWAYS provided for us in the ways we need without fail.
In that list I had written:
“I want His will. His plan. His desires. His goodness for us.
no. 1 nurses + doctors that can see us + treat us like children of God. Recognize our dignity + worth as individuals and a whole family. For us to treat them as such in return.
no. 2 Fulton to know that he is loved + taken cared for amidst my labor + postpartum.
no. 3 healthy + safe baby who is strong.
no. 4 Mason to be be seen + loved during it all. That I can extend patience + gratitude and love to him amidst all the pain, changes, transitions, emotions.
no. 5 to have a good support system during + after labor. To learn how to graciously set boundaries + how to lovingly express those to Mason, and others.
no. 6 a room that is calm + God filled. To be at peace knowing the Lord is loving us amidst the possible chaos and the contractions.”
Every one of those + then some were met and so much more was given that I didn’t even know I needed at the time. There have been days where a few extra tears have been shed or a few hours of sleep lost or times where my patience seems much shorter due to ever fluctuating hormones and emotions.
Peter came with only less than 8 hours of labor and only a couple pushes in less than 10 minutes and he was here + placed on my chest. I knew I already loved Peter but I was reassured once again that Motherhood is a gift + something to be celebrated. Children are not a burden, they don’t make you lesser, they don’t make you undesirable, they don’t keep your from your deepest desires and dreams you long for, they are in fact a gift and a blessing despite how painful contractions are, how postpartum is a tricky thing to navigate from time to time, or how overwhelmed, tired, confused I may feel from time to time. Fulton + Peter have made me better and help get me closer to the Lord is so desperately calling me to be, a saint. It doesn’t always have to be this “far fetched” idea, that I have to do something so *worldly* big + grand to become one but the simplicity of being faithful in the everyday tasks the Lord is calling me to be faithful to in the here and now. I can still have big + grand dreams in this life and still be a good, loving and faithful wife + mother first and foremost. The two can coexist – babies + dreams. Whatever those dreams may look like or even if they may shift + change.
Those final hours of parenthood of one little was filled with praying rosaries, lectio divina, quality time with Mason as he held and rocked with me during contractions, snacking to keep my energy up, thinking about Fulton while he was with his aunt, uncle + cousins for the day and what he’d think of his little brother and how best of buds they grow to be in this life, and dreaming of the many more times I hope and pray I can be a vessel to bring a little life into this world. To love, nurture and help them know + love Jesus so intimately. I continue to pray for the Lord to keep preparing and equipping me to be a good, loving and holy mother to our children. that is some way I can show them the Blessed Mother Mary’s love for them too.
Our family feels no where “complete” and Mason + I pray that the Lord can continue to grow our family with however many children the Lord desires for us (hoping it’s many more to come, hehe) but we are so thankful for two beautiful + healthy boys to love on.
September 5, 2021